Most people and especially men live with a defensive pattern that seeks to protect unhealed hurts that they have been taught not to feel and therefore cannot heal. These hurts are generally encountered in childhood and contain a child’s perspective and emotions. They are often referred to as the hurt, inner child. When they are not dealt with in childhood and the feelings repressed or ignored, a protective pattern develops. We could call this pattern the adapted personality. It’s job is to keep the world away for the hurt parts of ourself and help us hide our hurts. If this adapted personality is not given healing attention it will become part of a false self through which we meet the world. This falsity of self cannot be authentic, intimate, loving or happy. This is why healing attention must be brought to both the inner child and the adapted personality for our lives to be full authentic and successful.