(And I’ve learned a few things along the way).
It’s been 30 years this month that I have been privileged to do the work that I do.
The work grew out of the realization that experiencing what is called Pure Consciousness, or the transcendent, through meditation is not, as I so fervently believed, the solution to all of life’s problems.
I came to see that patterns of behavior and thinking that are held, often unconsciously, are like hidden software that determines the output of a computer. These patterns are generated by past experience that is retained in the body and mind. And the more retained emotions there are, the more powerful the pattern is. It doesn’t matter how long ago these beliefs, experiences and emotions were created. They don’t disappear over time. In the subconscious, everything is now. So if we did not feel loved as a child, this experience and the subsequent belief, is not stored as I was unlovable, but it is stored as I am unlovable. And then, unconsciously, we go out to prove our unlovability. At least, until we change our minds about ourselves.
The unconscious is a big deal. It runs the show. It is said to be 1 million times more powerful than the conscious mind. If real and lasting change is going to happen in our lives it must start here. Realizing this was the first step in coming into the work I do.
“The unconscious is a big deal. It runs the show.”
The second step happened in a flash. One day, as I continued to deal with food allergies and sensitivities, no one was around to do muscle testing (also called kinesiology) and help me figure out what my body wanted to eat for lunch. So I thought, there must be some way I can do this myself. Amazingly, my head shook up and down. That turned out to be my “yes’. And sideways turned out to be my “no”. I call this my signal.
Over time I came to realize that not only could I test for good and bad foods to eat but I could test the unconscious. I could ask it what it believed was true, how it came to believe that and what emotion made that belief feel true. And even better than that, I could ask and receive specific answers how to help my clients release their limiting beliefs and retained emotions. And even better still, it worked.
“At first, I thought of myself as a healer. And this gave me a sense of value as a person.”
But what I would most like to share with you is how I have felt about this gift and the opportunities it has afforded me.
At first, I thought of myself as a healer. And this gave me a sense of value as a person. I felt important. Seeming miracles were happening. In retrospect, I would call this a stage. And it is a stage that is very seductive to the ego. One could easily get stuck here if one didn’t have spiritual guidance.
As my spiritual practice and growth continued I came to experience myself more and more as not a healer but more like a delivery system. Guidance would put information and directions for my clients into my mind and I would communicate them. When they would have experiences of their True Self it was abundantly clear to me that I in no way was responsible for their experiences. But, because I am empathic and can feel a little of what they feel I actually got to come along for the ride which was very beneficial to me.
“The more I worked the more I didn’t judge anymore…just loved.”
If I actually added anything to a client session it would be the unconditional love that was growing in me. This too, seems like a great gift given to me. The more I worked the more I found that I didn’t judge anyone…just loved them. And I suspect that this allowed the work to come through me with greater and greater force and clarity. Not too long ago I asked Guidance how much I actually contributed personally to my client sessions. The answer came back… about 1%. The rest, just flows through.
The gift and opportunity to do the work I do has been an incalculable blessing. It has moved me along my spiritual path. It has provided an income for me and my family. It is the thing I love to do more than anything in the world.
There are no real words that can contain or even point to my gratitude.